By Jenny Mitchell, CFRE, DMA, CEC
Stop waiting to be noticed at work and instead, start letting go of expectations of what an ambitious woman looks and acts like. Use these tactics to shift from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat in your own career.
Women have been waiting a long time to be seen, heard and valued at the decision making table. Some strides have been made, but certainly not enough for a population that represents 51% of humans, but only 33% of executives in Europe.
Traditionally, women waited their turn in line, played nice in the sandbox and were grateful when asked to join the executive team. Statements like “I hope I can live up to your expectations” were part of the act of letting the other executives know they were ready to serve, all while staying in their lane.
Why do many women place their value in the hands of other people and wait to be recognized? The answer lies in understanding social hierarchies and power. Research from Adam Galinsky from Columbia University explains that the issue is one of power, not gender.
“Those with less privilege in the social hierarchy such as women, racialized communities, people of lower social class, and people of lower ranking positions in organizations are prescribed a narrower range of acceptable behaviour.”
Galinsky explains that when women stay within their typical range of behaviour they get rewarded. But if they step outside that range, they risk getting punished, dismissed, or ostracized in the workplace.
No wonder ambitious women take pause before putting it out there to ask for a raise: the fear of being exposed is real, and the feeling is explained by our biology.
Women as a collective are reclaiming the word ambition and in doing so, they are taking ownership of their own narrative as leaders and stepping outside the predetermined boxes that have been prescribed for them. This process requires them to bust through some long-held beliefs about what it takes to lead, and who gets to decide when they are ready.
Belief: If I do my work well, and keep my head down, others will see my value.
Tactic: As an ambitious leader, you must produce quality work, meet deadlines and get along with your colleagues. But this does not translate into others automatically seeing your value. Get good at managing up to your boss by celebrating your weekly wins and sharing what you’ve achieved in an information-based way. This is not about bragging: this is about making sure that your boss understands what you’re working on and how you contribute to the team’s goals.
Belief: I should just focus on my job and not get distracted by other files that I find interesting.
Tactic: The most important currency for a leader is time. Demonstrate to your boss that you can think strategically by pro-actively looking ahead at what’s coming up in the calendar. Aim to be helpful by creating briefing notes, or a list of potential issues before your leader asks you for it. Show your boss that you are already capable of more responsibility. This will differentiate you from others on your team. You are demonstrating your resourcefulness and your ambition through your actions, not your words.
Belief: I don’t want to ask for the raise or promotion because they might say no.
Tactic: Get comfortable with the fact that it may take you a few tries to get the raise or promotion that you’re looking for. What if the learning was in the asking, not the outcome? If you’re feeling weird about putting yourself out there and asking, remember this: at some point every boss was a direct report to someone else. Your boss will recognize the effort, even if they can’t reward it. Effort matters. Put yourself in uncomfortable positions because it will fuel your growth and your ambition.
Belief: If I stay connected with a leader I really like to work with, they will put my name forward for a promotion.
Tactic: It would be nice if this was always true. But the reality is that jobs change, people get promoted, and putting all of your career aspirations in one leader’s basket is a recipe for disappointment. The only person you are accountable to in this world is yourself. Build strong relationships with your bosses, but do not expect those relationships to translate into them putting your name forward for a position. People cannot read your mind: state your professional goals and aspirations. Bosses are not mind readers, nor should they have to be.
Belief: I don’t need a plan. I can just wing it.
Tactic: If the word planning feels heavy, try using the word “intention” so you can step into a more playful mindset. The risk of operating without a plan, is that you might end up somewhere you don’t want to be, and you won’t be able to explain how you got there. Instead, take a minute to draft a 10 -10 – 10 plan: where do you want to be in 10 days, 10 months, and 10 years? Focus on what you will be doing, who you will be spending time with, and how you will feel while working. Are you on your own? Are you leading a big team? Are you doing written work, research, or giving presentations? If you’ve never done this before, start with a mind-map exercise where you put yourself in the middle, and you create branches out from the center. What comes up for you? What activities and experiences matter the most for you as you’re writing this out? After you distill your mind map, you’ll see patterns emerging. The next step is to map them onto a growth plan that will get you to year 10. Share the plan with some friends and mentors and be open to feedback on it. When you’re ready, post your plan (or intention) somewhere visible near your desk so you can refer back to it regularly.
Follow the tactics above and commit to staying in the driver’s seat of your career path. The only map you need is within you already. And you are the very best navigator for your next career move.
Jenny Mitchell, CFRE, DMA, CEC
